The Emotional Rollercoaster of Changing Jobs

Did you recently add a new person to your team from another company? If so, it's all congratulations and excitement, right? There's no need to check on them because this is one of the happiest times in life - not quite yet. The intense mental pressure and stress of what goes into changing jobs can be much more than people know. It can take several weeks for the effects to wear off, especially when learning a new role while trying to impress the new boss. So, when you're offering congratulations, make sure to check in with a genuine "how are you?" as well.

The process of switching jobs starts off as something really exciting: someone approaches you with a cool new opportunity that checks a major career goal box. You get your resume over to them hoping they want to meet with you, and then you get the great news that they do! This is when it starts to get a little tougher. From this point on you have to adequately prepare for each interview (while still balancing your current responsibilities), clear your mind and fully engage with the prospective employer to build rapport, and anxiously await feedback at each step.

When the interviews go well, you get the news that you are the one they want.... awesome! The tough part is over, right? Sure isn't. The next phase of the process is the offer phase. The employer doesn't want to overpay and you don't want to settle, so you have to carefully negotiate an agreeable figure that makes you both happy. You get there and are feeling great, but then comes the guilt. You don't actually dislike your boss or your team - the move you're making is purely strategic and necessary for your continued advancement. You know you're going to have to "break up" with all of them to pursue this new avenue in your career, and it stings.

The day has arrived. You accepted the new offer and, when get to the office, you tell your boss you need to meet with them. You let them know you've decided to move on and inform them you'll be around for the next couple weeks to help transition. They sit quietly for a second before hitting you with a bunch of questions and pleas to stay. You politely decline the pleas, and they tell you they'd like to meet with you again later in the day or tomorrow. Get ready for it - it's counteroffer time. Now you're in for the second turn down and breakup which is usually less fun than the first because you can watch their face as it sinks in. Most employers think it's only about money, and in rare instances it can be. However, more often than not it's about many other factors so counteroffers really don't work out (even if accepted).

After you make it through all the other steps, you close out the final weeks of your current job. You walk in each day dealing with sad teammates and a disappointed boss and experience the awkward times of trying to train someone - in a very short time - what it took you months or even years to master. It can be a very trying and sad time where you question your decision to leave a place and a job where you're very comfortable.

Not every person that goes through a job change will experience each of these things I've written about, but many will. Whether you're a boss or a colleague, if someone new joined your team try to be as welcoming and patient as possible. They likely endured a mentally exhausting process to get here and are in a new, uncomfortable spot that feels like starting over - no matter how excited they were to land the job. The support received from managers and teammates in the early days of a new career is truly invaluable.